It’s “my brother and me!” Not the show silly…even better…
My brother and I decided to do a sibling TAG video. We chose a few questions to ask about each other. It turns out I know more about him then he knows about me.
We are planning some more fun collaborations in the near future. Do you have any ideas we should try? Make sure to subscribe to my channel to see new videos every weekend.
I noticed this Girl Power TAG video chain on youtube and felt I needed to expand on it’s meaning. It started with Seventeen Magazine interviewing teen celebrities to share inspiration and confidence to their readers. I think it is a nice initiative and I wanted to contribute to the conversation. Here is my Girl Power Remix.
1. What does Girl Power mean to you?
Girl power means embracing our gifts and responsibilities that come with being a queen. We naturally have powers to nurture, uplift, support, protect, inspire, grace, seduce, love, build, and the list goes on. We are responsible to not only accept and strengthen our gifts but also share and contribute them to society.
2. What is the best advice you can give to girls who want to be powerful?
There are two aspects of being powerful. First, self-worth, confidence, and determination. Refusing to conform to what society claims what your role in life should be. Measuring your value deeper then the surface. Standing up and speaking out for what you believe in. Second, being inclusive. Not hating on other girls or women who are different from you, having struggles, or are victims of rumors. Not excluding boys or men just because they are a different gender. I believe the key to solving the issues in our society is being a unified community. We cannot do that if we segregate ourselves along gender lines. We are stronger together.
3. If you could have any super power, what would it be and how would you use it?
I would like to have ultimate mind power to move objects with my mind and be able to communicate with animals, plants, and all the elements on Earth. I want to help everyone and thing on this planet to coexist without taking advantage or destroying each other.
4. Show your best Girl Power pose.
This photo was taken in 2011 when I did the “big chop” to go natural. I felt very powerful starting that new chapter in my life. It is amazing what a new hair style can do. Check out my previous blog to learn about my hair journey.
5. What beauty product makes you feel powerful?
I would like to change this question to “what thing” because I feel we need to expand on what girls can use as a resource of power. Beauty products can be fun to play with and can be helpful in maintaing healthy looks, but I also feel we should encourage youth to use their imagination to build their inner strength. There are a variety of things that make me feel powerful depending on my mood, but I will share two of them here. First, knowledge – the access to explore it and the freedom to share it. As Queen Latifah once said, “no one can put a padlock on your mind.” Second, my glasses. I started wearing glasses when I was 16 months old. Traditionally, glasses are considered a weakness since without them, the person is possibly blind. However, mine give me the power to see clearly, act as a shield against any elements flying in the wind, and has a certain influence on people to stay-on-their-toes since my magnified eyes give the illusion of looking into their souls. Granted, sometimes I wonder if it is only the guilty who tend to feel paranoid…but I digress.
6. Why is it important to have Power Girls as role models?
Having powerful people of all kinds as role models allows us to use our imagination and believe that we can be whomever we want to be. I think it is important to expand on what we define as a powerful person, because not all heroes wear a cape or are featured on front page news. It also inspires us to push the bar further and take on dreams that are just as risky or unconventional.
7. What young up and comer do you think is powerful and why?
If you watch my video above, I included a collage of a number of young individuals whom I think we all should encourage and celebrate. This includes: Malala Yousafzai, De’Juan Correia, Leah Booher, Gabrielle Douglas, Brian Linton, Christopher Yao, Erica Williams Simon, Dylan Mahalingam. There are countless others on the front lines and behind-the-scenes making a difference.
Additionally, I want to mention what I appreciate about powerful people. We tend to think those who are featured in Forbes or Time Magazine are the only powerful people. I believe you reading this is powerful and I think we do not articulate our appreciation for each other enough.
To my fellow Queens and Princesses, I appreciate your strength in smiling every day, caring for each other, and refusing to conform to what society claims you should be and continuing to build a united community. I appreciate your intelligence, resilience, and talent in juggling all of your numerous roles and responsibilities. I appreciate everything you teach us. Thank you and keep it up!
To my fellow Kings and Princes, I appreciate your strength in lifting the heavier weight, constantly striving to be the better man you want to be, and your courage in helping to build a united community. I appreciate your intelligence, determination, and talent in juggling all of your responsibilities. I appreciate everything you teach us. Thank you and keep it up!
I hope you enjoyed the clip and the entertaining pictures. I would love to know what makes you feel powerful. Remember to subscribe to my youtube channel for new videos every weekend.
Looking for some protective styles and spring fashion ideas? Since it is so beautiful outside this weekend…in Texas… I put together a Southern Belle look with pops of color and fun.
For the hair, you only need bobby pins. The amount of bobby pins depends on the length of your hair and density of your texture. I used 12. If you have thick natural hair like me, moisturize your hair as you would to prep for a protective style. If your hair is wavy or straight, you might want to add hair spray or a flexi rod. The pompadour has been my signature style since my hair passed the medium-afro-phase. With inspiration from Ella Fitzgerald and Janelle Monáe, I wanted to adapt the lady sings the blues / rock n roll diva in a way that did not need straightening and could protect my ends. With practice, you can play with the height and shape of the pompadour by twisting it in different directions.
For the style, spring season is the time to indulge in bright colors and light fabrics. If you are already enjoying warmer weather, you can rock a pencil or a-line skirt with loafers or a maxi skirt with sandals. If your location is still bipolar, you can pair a light blouse with a blazer and a scarf. The layering will give you freedom to adjust with the temperature.
Top & Blazer: Forever 21 | Jeans: New York & Company | Skirt: J. Crew
Continuing my culinary experiments, I decided to make bofrot (puff puff) and african pepper sauce for the first time. I found this lovely blog, Immaculate Bites, that has a lot of recipes I want to try. I noticed that there are a lot of youtube channels dedicated to food. While some feature international cuisine, not many represent Africa. This clip starts my mini-series as a Diasporan cooking African food. Of course, I picked the one that requires the most practice first. No worries, it still tasted good. Below are the recipe boxes from Immaculate Bites. If you are interested in learning how to cook African cuisine, you should check out her blog and continue following my cooking series. Enjoy!
I am not one to purchase or glance at dating novels. With the reviews and discussions I have read and heard in the media, it seemed like a trendy case study…since there is nothing else significant about “Millennials.” However, when I received “It’s Just A F***ing Date” by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola as a casual gift, I decided…just for kicks…to open the book. I must admit, this is a funny book.
With a fun and light-hearted tone, Greg and Amiira provide a straight-to-the-point guide to help you become a winner-dater and learn how to seize-the-date. Without going into too much detail about my love life – granted if it was scandalous, TMZ would have already provided all the photos and footage for you – I have experienced a few of the scenarios that are mentioned in the book, from agreeing to “hang out,” to reading too much into someone’s potential, to just shutting people out. The nice thing about this book is that they do not bash anyone. No gender is written as the villain and you do not have to change who you are to get a date.
Here is a summary of their tips. Regardless if you collect these kinds of books, I recommend you treat yourself to a good laugh.
Principles for Winner Dating
1. Like Yourself and Know You’re Worthy
You need to be your own cheerleader, rock star, and self-esteem guru. Being happy all the time is hard work…and you definitely should not pretend if you actually are not happy…but carrying around negative vibes is not attractive. Our self-esteem gets bruised quite a bit as we grow up. This book has a wonderful exercise to get back that child-like self-image you once had: ask yourself “when was the best period of your life?” and then figure out what changed and what are you going to do to get that feeling back.
2. Get a Life, Have a Life
Being genuinely busy with things you enjoy is attractive. It adds to the challenge of pursuing you and earning your time and affection. Greg and Amiira warn you to not drop everything you used to do to be more available, because it will probably make your date run away. Your presence can transform from valuable to burdensome. If you do not have much a life now, start developing some hobbies and little adventures. It will not only make you more interesting, but also add to the conversation.
3. Pretty Is As Pretty Does
This tip is primarily speaking to women in emphasizing the fact that men are visual, so what you look like counts. You do not need to resemble a supermodel, but it should be obvious that you make an effort with your appearance, your home, your work desk, and your life in general. This is not only appealing to the eye, but proves you would be willing to make an effort in a relationship.
4. Don’t Accept Less Than An Actual Date
This goes along with the infamous confusion between “date” and “hang out / quasi date / hooking up / tagging along / etc”. This is a big one. There are so many blogs that focus solely on how to interpret the grey areas we create for ourselves. Basically, if you prefer to avoid this confusion, you need to insist that he or she asks you on a date.
5. Don’t Freak People Out With Your Need
This is a tricky tip. You need to restrain the excitement of future possibilities after a successful date. Do not start a wedding Pinterest board just because he called the day after. Do not seek reassurance of their feelings for you in every form of communication.
6. Doormats Finish Last And End Up In The Dirt
This discussion between standards and deal breakers is really relevant. Standards are things you uphold to adhere to your values, deal breakers are things that can keep you from finding love. Quote from p.112 “Your whole life goes better when you live by a set of standards, because they teach people how to treat you.”
7. Don’t Show The Movie Before The Trailer
Intimacy. (I prefer that word because it sounds more meaningful, rather then sex, which is used so loosely.) Rushing into it does not always result in something memorable. Instead, savor the first butterflies in your stomach, first hug, first kiss, and then the first time.
8. Not Every Date Is Going To Turn Into A Relationship
Accept the fact that you will not always be in sync with the person you are dating. Some people catch feelings quicker then others. Just remember to take your time, be the real you, and be in the moment.
Principles for Seizing The Date
1. There Is No One Place To Meet Guys (or people you want to go out on a date with)
Develop a habit to spend time in places where you are your best self. Your hobbies are a great place to start. The philosophy behind this is that when you are occupied with what you enjoy, you are beaming with positive vibes and happiness…which is attractive. In return, people who are potential dates will be drawn to you.
2. The Power of Suggestion
Give the right signals to get asked on a date. This can vary from being confidently forward and politely shy, whichever works for you. This includes how you look, making eye contact, flirting, body language, and what to say. For example, “Besides asking me out, what are you up to this weekend?”
3. It’s Just a F***ing First Date
A list of do’s and don’ts, which depends on what you find important on a date. Do…be on time, flirt, eat an actual meal, compliment him on his choice of restaurant, shirt, or good sense in asking you out, let him know you had a great time. Don’t…drink too much, talk about your ex, ask inappropriate questions (like..how much money do you make?), go back to their place, have sex.
4. First Date Follow-Up
Here they have a chart explaining how to interpret the time it takes for your date to call or text you after your first date. I am not sure how one measures this. Basically, you should give your date some space to think about you and the possibility of a relationship; you should also consider it a booty call if he disappears a week afterwards.
5. 2nd Date and Beyond
A list of acceptable places to have a 2nd date, including movie, dinner, concert, art museum, and what not to do…lunch or breakfast is apparently a downgrade.
6. Sexclusivity
Again, appreciate intimacy…exclusively. You do not need to set a certain number of days, but try to get to know each other more first. They also suggest Date #10 should be the scheduled big event.
We all know how important it is to have big dreams, but for whatever reason we tend to block ourselves from making them come true. There are three self-imposed blocks we need to pay attention to – where we come from, life, and living in our minds.
1. You should never allow where you come from determine where you are going. Do not limit your aspirations to the neighborhood you grew up in, the school you went to, the family you are in, or the way you look. Think of anyone who is an icon…most of them did not come from easy beginnings and neither are they ashamed of it. They repeat over and over again that because they had to work hard to get where they are now, they are grounded, humble, and always helping others.
2. Life is our most challenging ally. Sometimes it feels as if life is constantly throwing curve balls or digging pot holes in your path. It could be family issues, arguments with friends, your boss is giving you a hard time, your car breaks down on a day you cannot be late, money is tight, or you got a mosquito bite. The reason life does this is not to persuade you to stop, but rather convince you to see how important it is to continue pursuing your dream. There is a lesson you need to gain or experience in order to be ready to take the next step closer to your dream.
3. Living in your mind is something I have been guilty of and working very hard to fix. Keeping your ideas, dreams, opinions, or just your full personality to your self causes you to miss out on opportunities that were created for you. No one around you will have any idea how brilliant you are if you do not tell them or show them. Of course, this is easier said then done. I am not comfortable “tooting my own horn,” but if no one knows what you are working for and aspire to, you will never connect with people who would love to help you.
I hope this list was helpful. There are definitely more blocks to add, but I think if we recognize these 3, we can better understand how to fix or improve ourselves. I started a dream / idea journal in January of 2013 and I think it really helped me keep on track on what I enjoy and what I wanted to achieve. Pick one of your dreams and write down what you are doing now or what you are going to do to make it come true. Then, watch yourself succeed.
Dagny Zenovia 