Tag: Houston Blogger

Why Nostalgia Will Not Keep You Happy

In entertainment there is a strategic pattern to entice us to show up and support a project by tapping into our nostalgia. Take Disney, for example. First we had sequels for classics, like The Lion King, Aladdin, and Toy Story. Then we had spin-offs for Finding Nemo, Boy Meets World, and now, That’s So Raven. Some stories can be continued forever and still feel fresh, while others are really stretching it. Even though we know the show will not be the same, we still go see it. Hoping to get that same feeling of surprise or laughter, we leave disappointed. Did you know we do this in life too? As nice as it is to reminisce, nostalgia can keep you from being happy.

Why is nostalgia so easy to slip into? It gives us a false sense of security. With hindsight, we can pinpoint mistakes and victories, select pleasant memories, and re-create who we previously were. There is a tendency to feel like the good-old-days are better than anything today could bring. There are two ways to look at this. First, looking back can help see how much progress you have made and learn from any lessons you picked up. Second, looking back can stifle your motivation to try anything different and give into negativity.

I do not think looking back on your own life is completely bad, but you should be careful in how you do it. The time you take repeatedly dwelling on your past choices is not productive. That will only fill you with regret and frustration, which will only cast a shadow over how you view your future. The time you take comparing your past progress with a friend, relative, or stranger is also not helpful. As difficult as it might be, you cannot let your mind play tricks on you.

Instead of slipping further into nostalgia, you should focus on creating more memories you would want to look back to. Push yourself to move forward, in spite of what happened before. I believe life is the result of what we do rather than what we let happen to us. Nostalgia can help or hinder that result depending on how you use it. Happiness is a choice that takes effort and discipline to keep. Be careful with how you let nostalgia be part of that choice.

What are you most nostalgic about? How do you use that to keep you happy? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: New York & Company blouse; Forever21 skirt; Steve Madden shoes

November 3, 2016
Lamborghini Festival Houston: Photo Recap

The cars were polished and swanky. The weather was perfect and beautiful. I attended my first Lamborghini Festival at CityCentre in Houston and it was quite impressive. I brought my camera with me and really like how the photos came out. So, as my schedule permits, expect more photo recaps from time to time.

I did not get to sit in or drive one, but I might get to next time. Have you attended a luxury car festival? What is your favorite or dream car? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

October 16, 2016
What Makes A Successful Millennial

There is a certain assumption about my generation that I do not agree with. Well, there are probably numerous assumptions, but there is one in particular I want to talk about. The notion that everyone who is between the ages of 20 and 35 are all interested in getting rich quick by being an entrepreneur. Let us take a moment to unpack that.

It is true that a lot of buzz words are being thrown around to embellish reality. With hyphenated titles and fluffy online bios, I can kind of see why older generations assume we do not know what we want to do. The truth is, we are multi-talented and have more access to inspiration and resources to believe we do not have to confine our lives into a box for a 30 year pension plan. It is not that we do not know what we want to do, it is that we do not want to settle for mediocrity. There is also this great article from Quartz that speaks to this and job hopping.

The entrepreneur bandwagon has over saturated the career sensation discussion. It is great that so many people have truly created something out of nothing and are being innovative with how they implement that in their business. There are a lot of digital boutiques, e-courses, and coaching sessions out there. However, this type of job is not for everyone and should not weigh more or less than the traditional professional career path. It is ok if some people are not interested in kicking the 9-5 to the curb or want to spend more time in school or want to be their own boss. Some of us can do both. Your choices should not be determined on what is most popular. There is also no need to look down on someone who chose differently than you.

This past year I made a point to meet more people in real life. I wanted to get a better understanding of this city I am living in and where I could fit in it. I attended networking mixers, happy hours, brunchs, and work shops for creatives, law students, and just young professionals. To be honest, I was disappointed. Yes, everyone was nice. Yes, each event had a hashtag to share photos or posts with and a swag bag to take home. Still, there was something missing. The discussions were empty and the food was bland. I did not learn anything new. I got the sense everyone else attending felt the same, but still pretended to look excited for the selfie they posted to not allow their time to go to waste. It got me wondering if my standards were unrealistic. Is this really all there is to adulthood? Am I naive in expecting more? I have yet to find an answer to this, but I feel this is part of the problem. How can we successfully navigate our careers in an environment that is not promising? If you have any ideas, I would love to hear your thoughts.

The key to being a successful millennial involves strategy and priorities. Regardless of which path you choose, you cannot cruise into it willy-nilly. Be strategic with your time and who you interact with. Step outside of your comfort zone and be open to opportunities. Be proactive in how you maneuver your path. The beauty of this era (as confusing as it is) is that the hustle does not have to be torture. You can create a lifestyle that benefits you and your family in a wholesome way. You can create a reality you do no want to escape from.

How are you navigating your career? What do you think is the key to success for our generation? Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: T.J.Maxx blouse; New York & Company skirt; DSW heels; Vinti Couture earrings

October 15, 2016
Are We Still Haunted By Colorism?

You might have seen the photo with a group of successful people sharing a good laugh. It included Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Puff Daddy, etc. The fascinating thing about being a content creator is that you see potential and ideas everywhere. As simple as the photo is, it has created a whole discussion on success and colorism.

It started with a twitter thread about that photo and an essay about Lil’ Kim by Myles E. Johnson, where the sentiment behind love being controlled by color continued. Do all successful black men only date and marry light skin women? Is this still an issue or a misguided assumption? I think it is both. To some, this is a conscious decision to reach their goal to rub shoulders in certain circles. A product of toxic conditioning. For others, they honestly found love in someone who does not look like them. I cannot say which is the majority, but I do think we need to be cautious of who we look up to.

As much as we can blame mainstream media and an oppressive society, we cannot deny how we contribute to this. Ashley Coleman shared a great post on her experience about this on her blog Write Laugh Dream. Team light skin versus team dark skin is holding us back. It is a distraction to shift the focus away from how much we need to support and respect each other.

Believe it or not, as a child I had a consistent deeper complexion. Throughout grade school, if the lighting was odd, or if I was placed in the back of the group photo (which happened too many times), all one could see were my teeth and the glare from my glasses. Outside of home, I was not the ideal beauty. Now, even though I tan easily, I do not get to spend as much time with the sun as I would like to. Depending on the season and location, I probably go through 52 shades of brown every year. It is kind of funny because, regardless of the season, I do not view myself as light skin, nor do I assume others see me as such.

Maybe it is because of my childhood experiences or over-observant nature, but I notice the difference in confidence between team light skin and team dark skin. Insecurity and self-doubt haunt all of us. There is no need to build more barriers between us. Of all the things colorism affects, I think the biggest issue is the feeling of being unworthy of love. That is what causes us to settle for mediocrity, suffocate healing, and shut out love. It is not easy to let go of, but you must believe you are worthy. No one can fill that void for you. Do not let others ignorance block the love you deserve.

Have you been affected by colorism? Let me know how you deal with it in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: Marshall’s shirt; New York & Company jeans; DSW shoes

October 7, 2016
What Jason Bourne Teaches Us

What did you want to be when you grew up? At first, I wanted to be a mad scientist, like Dexter’s Laboratory. Then I wanted to be a secret agent, like the Famous Jett Jackson. That dream stuck with me as I watched Cleopatra Jones, James Bond, Jonny Quest, and, of course, Jason Bourne. I loved the gadgets, adventure, wardrobe, and mystery…minus the killing. After watching the recent Jason Bourne movie, I started thinking about how the character’s struggles and victories can be applied to “civilian” life.

We need to do our own research. Even though we have wider access to information, we tend to be lazy using that access. I am sure there are plenty of people like me who read beyond headlines, but there are also plenty of people who stop at a meme or soundbite. In every movie, Jason Bourne has taught us the importance of doing our own research. You cannot always take other people’s word for it. You cannot always assume the door is locked just because there is a line waiting outside. Be aware of your surroundings, physically and virtually.

It is helpful to maintain barriers. Like all secret agents, Jason Bourne does have trust issues. It is easy to see why that is the case for him, but sometimes it is surprising to realize how life can jade us. We all pick up scars along this journey of life, but the key to surviving is maintaining healthy barriers. You can be picky about who you share your time and love with. You should also be open to forgive and move on.

Can we truly accept who we are? One thing I felt was lacking in the Jason Bourne movie was his quest to find who he is. It seemed as if he never got a real answer. Nonetheless, that quest to find our purpose and identity is not just about playing a scavenger hunt. It is also about deep reflection. With and without the job, friends, car, or filters, who are you? Can you embrace every part of you? I think this quest is not only about looking for answers, but also about expanding and enhancing what we seek. You really have to be honest, sometimes brutally honest, with yourself before you can make any meaningful progress.

Now, I know you might not have thought of any of these things while watching any of the Bourne movies, but that is why I am here. I hope you found this helpful. Life is about keeping your eyes open. There are stories and lessons everywhere.

I also must commend the Bourne team for producing a movie that was timely and relevant regarding virtual reality and internet security. Clever move.

What do you think of the Bourne movies? What did you want to be when you grew up?

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: JC Penny dress; Forever 21 necklace; Dillard’s heels

Photography: It’s Sofia Emm

September 18, 2016
Why I Do Not Trust Data Storage

Cyber-security breach and data leaks seem to be normal occurrences these days. The question of privacy seems to be naive when all information and communication is monitored and hackable. Maybe it is because I recently (read…finally) saw the new Jason Bourne movie or because I work with a variety of data and media, but I have been thinking a lot about how data storage is evolving. Space and convenience is not the issue. Security and longevity is what we still do not get.

Gone are the days when we would “search on Google” for our name and possibly freak out if there was one obscure mention of a link. Now we are all encouraged to have a professionally branded – but still personal – presence online. We are encouraged to sync all of our devices. We are made to believe the best way to back up precious memories, important documents, and big files is on virtual clouds and drives. It is funny how our discomfort in seeing our names pop up outside of the Yellow Pages has become hesitantly open to every device upgrade. On the one hand, that is the beauty of technology. It is constantly changing to push our potential and innovation further. On the other hand, values and concerns should be respected.

I am not sure if security will ever become a full guarantee as we progress in this cyber direction. From the recent Dropbox breach to apps discreetly linking information, ahem Facebook and WhatsApp, it seems that no information is secure. Nothing is hack-proof, regardless of good intentions behind passwords, two-step authenticity, fingerprints, and any other secret codes. Since this is the case, I urge you to be mindful of where you save your stuff. A printed copy saved in a locked drawer or a box under the bed is not silly. It will probably save you a headache. Regarding future developments in security, maybe we should not only focus on better passwords or bigger servers.

Since I have been working with media for a while, technology upgrades are bitter-sweet. Remembering how much time it took to convert footage from a Hi-8 tape to a DVD, I thought it would save those memories forever. What happens when DVD players join VCRs? With all the photos I diligently archive on external hard drives, what happens when USB ports join floppy disk drives? It is kind of scary to think about. A project I hope to start soon is to create a series of photo albums, I mean really old-school photo albums, for the majority of my photos. As convenient as Google drive and external hard drives are, I want to be able to share these memories with my children 10 years from now and my grandchildren 30 years from now. There is something about sitting around a table with family with an old suitcase full of photos in envelopes and albums that is really special. Watching a slide show on a screen does not compare to that.

I am intrigued to see how data storage and cyber-security evolves during my lifetime, but I do not think I will ever fully trust it. How do you think we can improve on this? How are you keeping your data safe? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: New York & Company blouse; Woodin skirt; Michael Kors shoes

Photography: It’s Sofia Emm

September 11, 2016