Tag: Style

My outfits. Style inspiration.

What Prince and his Purple Badness Taught Us

For me, Prince passing felt like the world had lost a lot of magic. I could not bring myself to write anything about him. It takes a while for reality to sink in. With all the information, videos, and rumors that resurfaced, I want to focus on what we all can learn from Prince. He taught us to be unapologetic with our brilliance. That is a lot to unpack. Let’s try. Shall we?

Create and protect your work and your luck

We all know about the fall out between Prince and Warner Brothers plus the impact Prince business decisions made on the music industry at large. Not only did he stand up for himself, but he reached out to others to provide an alternative for artists to conduct business on their terms. He created all of his work and made huge efforts to protect all of it. Self-made success is not easy, but I would argue it is the most rewarding. This applies to every aspect of life, from your career to your family to your health. Create your reality and your luck. Build your opportunities and protect the results. Always remember the hard work pays off, regardless of how long or difficult it feels.

Only compete with yourself

Prince was an ultimate boss at throwing shade. When you are about your business and comfortable in your own skin, no one can touch you. I don’t mean you should up your shade game, but keep your priorities straight. The only person you should be competing with is yourself. Focus on being better than who you were yesterday. Push yourself to dream bigger and reach higher. Take time to master your craft. Most of us are pretty good at a lot of different things. That is cool to keep you occupied, but if you want to capitalize on your skills, you need to be a boss at it. Only then can you throw shade that people will respect.

Don’t be a slave to time

For some reason I viewed Prince as immortal. As if death was beneath him. In a few of his interviews that have resurfaced on YouTube, he mentions a number of times that he does not believe in time or reminiscing. Now, we might not be able to completely dedicate our lives to a no-time-zone due to deadlines, jobs, and bills, but we can still learn something from this. We tend to complain that we do not have enough time. We make excuses for it never being the right time. We race against time. I think we could be happier and more productive if we do not accept being a slave to time. We can make time work for us. Pay attention to how you are using it. Are you allowing others to waste it? What consumes it? Are you being intentional with it? You would be surprised how much time-baggage you could let go.

Bring magic to the world

I really appreciate and respect Prince for all of the gifts he shared with us. He understood his purpose and lived it to the fullest. Is it just me, or does it feel like 2016 is not playing? We have lost so many greats this year. No one can take their place, but that void should not be left empty. I believe passion is the key to bring magic back into the world. Passion for life, equality, love, and connection taken to a cosmic level. We should all strive to recognize and master our gifts to share them with our community.

What did you learn from Prince or any of the greats we lost this year? Let me know in the comments below.

Wearing: ASOS jumpsuit; Dillards heels; Target belt

June 6, 2016
Future of Fashion in Houston: Event Recap

When you think of fashion capitals, what city comes to mind? New York? Paris? Milan? Tokyo? Those are all true, but with technology and social media, new cities are gradually finding their place in the fashion world. Houston might be one of those cities. I had the pleasure of attending the “Future of Fashion” speaker series at Kit and Ace in Rice Village. It was hosted and curated by David Rochez, style blogger at fromNYtoTX, and featured an insightful panel discussing fashion in Houston and the future of fashion around the world.

First, if you are looking for a cool place to host an event, you should check out Kit and Ace. The store has a modern and edgy vibe with a nice clothing selection. The space is perfect for an intimate mixer, panel, or pop-up shop. DJ Anarchy provided the soundtrack and maintained the best mix of soul, hip-hop, and R&B I had not heard in a while.

The panel included Mara, life and style blogger at Malibu Mara, David Rodriguez, head chef at Tout Suite, and Kalan Laws, style blogger at Señor Guapo. The question as to whether Houston will ever catch up to be considered a fashion capital had mixed responses. On the one hand, it is obvious that an interest in the arts is gradually growing in Houston. Everyone who attended provided great street style. A lot of big name brands and stores are opening in Houston. However, Houston was built as an oil and gas hub and, like most of Texas, maintains a conservative character. Kalan noted that anything avant-garde or cutting edge is still considered weird in Houston. David Rodriguez shared his experience in Houston visiting upscale restaurants and being made to feel he did not belong there. Mara mentioned how the big brand stores that are moving to Houston are not catering to millennials who are into fashion but more for the luxury side of Houston. All the panelists agreed that it is up to the millennials of Houston (who are born after 1980) to make Houston a fashion forward city.

I agree that Houston’s extreme temperature and mode of transportation requires creativity to adapt its version of fashion. Unlike other fashion capitals, it is difficult to develop street style in a place that does not have pedestrians. We drive everywhere and are always battling heat waves, hurricanes, floods, and mosquitos. In spite of all of that, we still know how to clean up and show up to events like this.

The dark side of fashion was also discussed. Fast-fashion, which includes H&M, Forever 21, and Zara, is continually destroying our planet and violating human rights. All the panelists noted that the re-emergence of thrifting for kids from all economic demographics is a way to be fashionable and avoid contributing to the continued destruction of our planet.

What does the future of fashion look like? As people, regardless of race, status, or beliefs, we connect through fashion, music, and food. This might bring us even closer in the future.

I really enjoyed this event and am looking forward to more events like this in Houston. Make sure you follow all the bloggers mentioned to stay up to date with cool events and fashionable photos from Houston.

What do you think is the future of fashion? Let me know in the comments below.

June 2, 2016
This Will Be The Best Summer Madness

Summer summer time. Time to sit back and unwind. We are all looking forward to spending more time outside, seeing more friends, and having a good time. Some of us might have plans to make this the best summer yet. Actually, we all should. Regardless if you are on a full vacation or will only take a few weekends off, you should be intentional in how you use your summer. Here are some tips to do that.

Plan a project

This can be short-term and/or long-term. Have you been longing to re-design your living room? Expand your garden? Upgrade your business? Change your hair? Now is the time to do it. When I am planning a project, I write my ideas down, then elaborate with a google doc and pinterest board…any possibly some YouTube videos. Planning can be as fun as implementing your idea.

Self-care

Beyond getting “snatched” for the summer, pay attention to your mind, body, and soul. What are you doing to stimulate your curiosity and imagination? Every summer I collect a few books to add to my library and entertain my mood. I also tend to get new-found inspiration for my blog or creative projects during the summer. Take advantage of the weather and shift some of your exercise routine outside. Check in with your health. I don’t believe in diets. Eating should always be enjoyable. Being deprived never feels pleasant. Looking healthy comes in a variety of sizes. Stick to what works for you and what foods help you be your version of healthy. Check in with your emotions. Are you stressed? Disappointed? Unpack those feelings, talk to friends and family, seek guidance from your higher beliefs. In the summer, the sun should not only shine outside, but also in your heart.

Explore

Whether it is planned or spontaneous, take time to travel. It can be a stay-cation at a local hotel, a road trip to a festival, a cruise to the Islands, or an international flight. I am planning a few road trips and look forward to sharing photos and stories with you about them. Sometimes I do get cold feet with the uncertainty of what might happen on trips to new places, but that is the beauty of exploring. Expand your horizons. Enjoy new sounds, smells, and textures. Live in the moment, regardless of how short or long it is. Most importantly, make memories to cherish.

Connect

This is not a “no new friends” zone. Spend time with family and friends this summer, but also step out of your comfort zone to vibe with new people. You never know what possibilities can come out of a new friendly encounter. I love hearing others stories just for laughs and to learn. It’s inspiring to learn how someone thinks, where they have been, and where they want to go. It is not only about what you can get or gain from someone. It is also about what you can give and simple companionship.

What are your plans for this summer? Let me know in the comments below.

Wearing: ASOS blazer; The Limited blouse; New York & Company jeans; DSW heels

Special thanks to my brother Dantes for contributing his swag to these photos and my sister Damali for taking the photos.

May 30, 2016
How To Build Your Lane

Has anyone ever told you to “stay in your lane”? Depending on the circumstances, it might have been a word of encouragement or caution. Your “lane” can be your field, specialization, experience, or status. Defining your “lane” is very helpful to recognize the steps and skills needed to move in that “lane.” What if your “lane” does not fit an established category? What if you feel like your “lane” is more like a highway spaghetti junction. That is when you need to build your lane.

We who are multi-talented can find this “lane” dilemma frustrating. We are usually encouraged to master one thing and cast everything else as hobbies. Sometimes, we are taught to choose between what can pay the bills and what makes us happy. But what if you don’t have to choose?

As you may know, I am a journalist, artist, and law student. I do a lot of pretty cool stuff with the little time I find in-between studying. What is the key to not suffering from an identity crisis, you ask? Being clear on where my destination is and trusting my journey. Success is relative and its meaning evolves with time and experience. However, paying attention to how I internalize rejection and compare myself to my peers is what enhances or hinders that evolution.

Earlier this semester, I started falling deeper into self-doubt. In law school, your summers are supposed to be spent interning or working at a law firm, courthouse, or legal department. After submitting several applications, sending cold and warm e-mails, and attending networking events, nothing seemed to stick. I started to panic. I felt like a failure. I felt like nobody wanted me. I felt foolish. Then, I started comparing myself to my peers. They all seemed to be picking up opportunities in their sleep…at least that is what my mind was telling me. While sitting in that cloud of negativity, a light bulb turned on. I needed to let go.

When it comes to my work and my life, I can be a bit of a control freak. Ok…a lot of a control freak. Everything is planned strategically with back-up plans stacked. I rarely ask for guidance because I have an unfortunate history of receiving more confusion than help. This light bulb I am referring to came about when I had a serious talk with myself. I realized that my “lane” is not featured in any pamphlets at the career center or in any resumes among my peers. Maybe the reason why I am only receiving rejections has nothing to do with a lack in qualifications. Maybe those positions are not for me.

I am an artist and I am sensitive about my “ish.” (Kudos to Erykah Badu and her wisdom) I was taking the rejections too personally and had lost sight of the bigger picture. I chose not to study the arts for a degree because I believed my purpose entailed more than fighting to be on stage or in front of a camera all the time. I resented the notion that I had to depend on others to tell me what I am capable of based off my looks instead of my talent. I wanted to be in the position to have the resources and status to tell the stories that I felt needed to be told and cast the talent I felt needed to be seen. I wanted my work to always fulfill a bigger purpose. With a J.D., I can also provide a service to those who think like me. I can protect their work and business and advocate for their rights and money. I can provide empowerment to communities that are underrepresented. I can provide insight to groups that are overrepresented. There is nothing wrong with being multi-talented. There is nothing wrong with having big dreams. There is nothing wrong with committing to a higher purpose. I do have something to offer.

I needed to re-clarify my purpose. I needed to let go of control and let it flow. Do I know exactly what is going to happen this summer? No, but I trust it will be what is supposed to happen. Part of that will be continuing to build my “lane.” I’m sharing part of my story to show you how important it is to be honest with yourself. It is really easy to get caught up with feeling you need to always keep up with people around you. Here is what I have been working on to build my “lane.”

1. Clarify your purpose: Work at being clear on what you want. List what influences your choices and filter out what is hindering your progress.

2. Think out of the box: Let your imagination flow. Be open to using your skills in different fields. Create your opportunity.

3. Nurture the present: Appreciate the challenges, lessons, and celebrations you are experiencing now. Trust your process and learn as much as you can.

This “lane” is a work in progress and will continue to evolve. Building the foundation is not easy, but is possible with self-discipline and patience. I have found the bigger challenge is finding the support system. You know those quotes that encourage you to surround yourself with people who support and challenge you? It takes a lot more time and patience to find people who understand a non-conventional path to success. One can’t really follow someone else’s footsteps when your building your own “lane.” Finding your tribe is key.

I would love to hear how you are building your “lane.” Let me know in the comments below.

Wearing: Forever 21 blazer; Marshall’s maxi dress; DSW heels

April 20, 2016
Hello 13-Year-Old Me

I have been feeling a little nostalgic lately. It might be the spring season or the articles I have been reading about millennials or the PowerPuff Girls return to Cartoon Network. By the way, did you PowerPuff Yourself? You know I had to. Anyways, you know I am always sharing reflections on different things here on the blog, but usually only look back a few months or years. What if we looked back over 10 years ago?

I was 13 in 2002, before Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. For entertainment, I brought my CD Walkman to school to listen to Alicia Keys “Songs in A Minor” or read the latest edition to “A Series of Unfortunate Events” or “Harry Potter.” I got most of my news from Channel One News and preferred watching Rocket Power and As Told By Ginger instead of De Grassi and One Tree Hill. Life was pretty good.

Now my brother, who is the special guest in my photos, is 13 going on 14. I am glad to share that we have a great relationship. We actually like each other! We do not only talk about the philosophical comparisons between Drake and Kendrick Lamar, but also the source of anti-matter, the intricacies of our brains, and the latest sneakers and gadgets. Sometimes, I pause and wonder if I was this deep at 13. Advances in technology have influenced the way youth mature in ways that are really remarkable. However there are still some things that the internet cannot give you: insight. I have noted that my brother, and possibly other 13 year olds, are dealing with the same difficulties I faced at that age. These difficulties are not with school work or home responsibilities, but more with interactions and paying attention to the bigger picture. Thus, I want to share some insight with 13-year-old me.

The usefulness of your teacher is hit or miss. I respect the profession, but I had more unhelpful experiences than I would like to admit. Unfortunately, not all teachers have the gift for education and sometimes use their position to hinder a student’s progress. Whether or not you are in this situation, always focus on what you can get out of the subject or class. The goal is to finish middle school to move on. Who cares if your teacher likes you or not? It would be nice if they did, but do not use that as an excuse to allow your grades to drown. There are so many wonderful things (and bigger challenges) to look forward to. Try to develop a healthier set of priorities.

Your friends enhance your life, but do not determine your worth. All of you are at a phase in your life where you are beginning to develop your individual persona. Some will be influenced by trends, religion, or family. Respect your friends and colleagues regardless of what they choose. Do not judge a person’s choices when you do not know their story. The healthiest option is to be true to who you are. You can try new things, but do not get lost in what is popular. Being unique will always be cool.

Remember how fun P.E. was a few years ago in elementary school? It felt like extra recess. So, what happened with P.E. in middle school? True, we did not play as many games and would just run around, but that is besides the point. You need to stay active. If you are a natural athlete, it would be easier for you to keep this up. If not, find something that makes you move. Even though I was tall for my age, I was not much of an athlete. I could make shots in basketball, but never had a competitive spirit. I did love the performing arts. So, I was active in dance and music. You might have to look outside of your school to find something active you enjoy, but it is important that you find it to develop movement as a habit.

What do you enjoy doing when you do not have homework? Beyond watching TV or playing video games, how do you spend your time? You are never too young to pick up a hobby. I was always occupied with something on the weekends. From playing Roller Coaster Tycoon or Nancy Drew to recording my voice on cassettes to riding my bike or scooter to sketching Disney characters to recording skits with my siblings…I actually was rarely bored at home. You have a lot more time than you think to do what you love at 13. Do not waste it.

13 is not an easy age. I have some fun memories from middle school, but I also felt excluded and invisible at times. I have my family to thank to balance that with a wholesome home life (even though we had our share of drama too). My biggest takeaway I want to share with 13-year-old me? You never had to hide your star. You did not have to fear what you were naturally great at. There was never anything wrong with you. You were always loved.

What is one thing you would like to tell your 13-year-old self? Do you have siblings or children around this age? What do you enjoy sharing with them?

Wearing: On her – Dress made in Ghana; Michael Kors shoes; Charming Charlie earrings & rings / On him – Burlington shirt and pants; Converse

Photos by my sister Damali

April 7, 2016
Why A Law Student’s Mind Is Precious
“Go to law school, they said. It would be fun, they said.” The amount of memes describing the humor, wisdom, and torture behind law school are hilariously accurate. As my 2L year comes to an end with an eventful final stretch, I am surprised and humbled to look back on how much I have grown. Through it all, my mind has gone through the most challenges and triumphs. For those who are in law school or are thinking of going to law school, I want to share with you why you need to run away as fast as you can. Ha! Kidding. I actually just want to share with you some of my experiences and resources that have helped me the most to get this far.

I will admit that when I was preparing to go to law school and would ask every law student or lawyer about it, I found it increasingly annoying when they would joke that I should stop and switch to something else. I still have yet to crack the code behind how those dreaded logic games on the LSAT feature in any class or job. If you look at the statistics, or people talking about the statistics, lawyers are the most likely to suffer from depression, addiction, and other dark influences out of any other profession. This kind of information was usually repeated to me with the jokes. From what I have seen and experienced thus far, this is no joke. The amount of confusion and disappointment law students go through is the reason why I think the law student’s mind is so precious.

From an academic standpoint, the curriculum is nothing like any other school experience. At first, the adjustment feels very daunting. Essentially, you have to learn how to teach yourself the material to prepare for one exam where you strive to not only get the right answer but a better answer than your classmates. Regardless of how much studying and practicing you do, you never really feel comfortable with your preparation. Thus, thinking about your grade is never fun. Eventually, you create a method that works for you.

From a social standpoint, the environment feels like an obstacle course at times and the magic word is always “networking.” From the second semester of our 1L year to the end, we are obsessing over internships, fellowships, and jobs. Gradually, students start coming to class wearing suits for interviews and part-time internships or jobs. Balancing interviews, mixer events, and stalking alumni…I mean…networking along with your school work can be challenging.

What does a typical day in law school look like, you ask? Well, that depends on your year and status. A full-time first year student spends Monday through Thursday or Friday in class and the school library carrying really heavy casebooks and supplements. As you progress to your second and third year, this time is split among internships or jobs and extracurricular activities. In class, you are not lectured on the subject matter, but instead tested by reciting from the reading assignments. You are basically asked about the readings, which are usually cases and statutes, to analyze how the rules are applied in the cases. During this exercise, you must also be a detective to discover what aspects of the rules and cases the professor is planning to use on the final exam. There are also skills courses, where you learn how to write legal briefs (which are not brief with a minimum of 20 pages), legal memos, contracts, wills, etc. Throughout the week there are a variety of student organization meetings, academic or career workshops, and social activities to attend.

Depending on your personality, the love/hate relationship with this experience can change from day-to-day. This is why the law student’s mind is so precious. It evolves to expand and compartmentalize all the knowledge, strategies, and reality checks it needs to survive.

I will admit that my mind has had a tough time. In spite of working to do everything right, there always seems to be this lingering cloud of inadequacy. It is kind of like in the movies where your mind splits in two voices:

Thing 1. “Ok, I think we got this. Way to go.”

Thing 2. “Ha! No way. That guy over there probably knows it better than you.”

Thing 1. “Well, maybe that job wasn’t for me. It’s ok.”

Thing 2. “Aww, another rejection. I guess no one wants you.”

I am sure this kind of thinking can happen at any school or job or part of your life, but for me this cloud of negativity grew darker while in law school. Add interactions that leave me feeling confused of whether people genuinely want to see me succeed or just interested in what they can take from me….it is not a pleasant mixture. Plus all the horror stories, which are real, of law graduates who cannot find a job and sometimes seem worse off than when they started. So, like any resourceful google-er, I searched for inspiration and encouragement to enhance my J.D. journey:
- The Gen Why Lawyer: A podcast featuring interviews with a variety of lawyers talking about the legal industry, career, and life.
- Law School Toolbox: A blog that provides tips and tutoring to law students.
- Above The Law: A blog about the legal industry beyond cases and adds humor and insight.
- Ms J.D.: A blog and mentoring platform for women in law.
- My Twitter legal list: As I was preparing for law school, I wanted to incorporate my journalist / blogger / social media skills to enhance my experience. So, I keep a list on Twitter for legal news.
Law school is an investment financially, intellectually, and emotionally. The only thing that is guaranteed is what you take out of it. As long as a law student takes care of his/her mind and is open to re-define their image of success, I think it is worth it.

Are you in law school? How has your experience been? What would you add to my list above? If you are thinking of going to law school or work in another challenging profession, how are you taking care of your precious mind?

Wearing: The Limited blouse; T.J.Maxx pants and shoes
March 30, 2016