Tag: Self-Help

Why Self Love Leads To Success

It feels as if we are all searching for the perfect self-love routine. Bouncing back and forth between striving for a work-life balance and accepting you are not the only one out here who has no idea what they are doing. This never-ending cycle of deep quotes, trending starter kits, and virtual gurus makes me wonder if we are really making progress, or just (again) passively consuming what is convenient. I believe there is no one-size-fits-all answer to self love, but there is plenty of room for us to dig deeper to nurture our souls and refine our perspective in life.

Loving yourself should go beyond material things. It is fine to use quotes, incense, crystals, bubble baths, etc, but be careful of not getting so caught up in creating your self-love package that you forget to hold yourself accountable. Do you also meditate and journal? Are you taking your exercise and eating routine seriously? Are you being intentional with who and what you surround yourself with? Do you speak honestly to yourself?

The thing is, you can consume enough personal development information to last you several lifetimes. The key is how you implement that information. This is where trusting the process comes in. Being optimistic does not always have to correlate with being naive. Rather, I believe it means having strength in keeping the faith. Trust that everything will work out to your benefit as long as you honestly do your part. Heal the baggage you never realized you were carrying. Reflect on the lessons you have learned with every win and failure. Love yourself. Not just the persona you share with the public, but every aspect of your soul.

Once you do this, it will feel like abundance is falling out of the sky. I really feel that all of the blessings and opportunities that we wish for and have yet to imagine are already ours. They are all lined up waiting for us to be ready to receive them. When you love yourself and allow your mindset to evolve, you are open to receive all the good you deserve and know how to use it. So, go ahead and take that risk. It will all be worth it in the end.

What have you found most helpful in enhancing your level of self love? Let me know in the comments below.

I have to mention how much I love these shoes. I found them at the Souk in Marrakech. Aren’t they fabulous!! I have a thing for shoes that are fun and elegant. They are so comfortable and I love the unique pattern.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Sweater: The Limited; Pants: ASOS; Shoes: Souk in Marrakech; Earrings: Souk in Marrakech

August 16, 2018
How To Refresh Your Life

A fresh start should not only be reserved for new year’s resolutions. It can also be at the beginning of a season, the end of a month, or the middle of a week. We all blossom at our own pace, so why not refresh on our own schedule? If you are feeling stuck, bored, or just going with the motions of your daily routine, it is probably time to consider refreshing your life. Here are some tips to get started.

Make a list of topics you want to learn about. Learning something new or mastering a craft helps you exercise different parts of your brain and body that might have been dormant for a while. I am always picking up knowledge or skills, from history to technology to food to style. Sometimes, I will admit, it feels random. When will any of this be relevant? That is not the point. You should do this for you. For pure joy. Explore some videos and blogs on the subject, then pick up some books to dig deeper. Make it a project to pick up a new skill that you enjoy. This will help you use your extra time productively instead of dwelling on being bored or feeling stuck.

Eat for your health instead of your hunger. As trendy as healthy eating is now, it still takes a proactive effort to maintain wholesome eating habits. Not only do you have to plan meals, you also have to pay attention to ingredients and packaging. As we all know, most advertising bends the truth. To stay motivated, clarify your eating priorities. Do you know what your body needs to be healthy? or are you just hungry for a certain figure? or are you just hungry? My relationship with food has gone through some changes as I have tried to balance my health, which has all been a learning experience. Food should always make you feel good. Explore new recipes. Visit your local farmers market. Host picnics or dinners with your friends and family. If you understand how to use it, food can heal more than you know.

Grow stronger in faith. Feeling stuck usually has something to do with our connection with faith. Whether you are religious, spiritual, or a hybrid, being aligned with believing in something bigger than yourself can really support your life. It can provide guidance, clarity, and community. Meditation and affirmations are a great way to find balance and clarity at your own pace. At the moment, I am searching for podcasts to enhance my affirmations and faith. There are so many resources out there for every belief. This is not something you can be passive with. Take time to breath and pay attention to what you are drawn to.

Bring closure to the past. I know I have mentioned this before, which is why it is so important. Holding on to the past will always make you feel stuck. It will block you from seeing how far you have come and all the opportunities ahead. Instead of suppressing past hurts or mistakes, reflect on what is bothering you and bring closure to it. Journal about it. Talk to someone about it. Then let it go. I mean really let it go. You need to make room for your blessing. Do not allow your past to hold you hostage.

How are you refreshing your life? What would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: The Wrap Life head wrap; New York & Company leather jacket; H&M dress; Modern Vintage sneakers

January 27, 2017
What is Behind the Power of Kindness
There are times when I am sure you wonder how kindness can survive in a world full of suffering. After all of the scars we pick up from life, how could there be any room for kindness to breath. To be honest, kindness takes an effort to maintain. It is easy to give in to the feelings of betrayal and sadness. We then shield ourselves to prevent us from getting hurt. It is that shield that we need to pay attention to. Even though it helps to protect our heart, it can also block it. Here are some tips to balance that shield.

There is a quote about crossing oceans only for people who care about you. I feel that method limits your heart. It is not about being a door mat, but you cannot allow an unknown response determine your behavior. Being generous with your effort and kindness will always bring good karma back to you, regardless of how the other person reacts to you. We hesitate to do this because we get attached to what we are giving. Have you noticed how you might not think twice about sending a donation, but will talk yourself out of personally caring for someone else when there is no guarantee the kind gesture will be reciprocated? You need to re-focus that attachment. Understand that your kindness is not shared for others to like you, but to help make the world feel less cold.

Life can freeze your heart without you realizing it. I sometimes joke that I have the heart of a 5-year-old and the memory of an elephant. Thus, I care too much, I feel everything very deeply, and I get hurt more often than people realize. Subconsciously, I found myself building a bigger shield and then wondering why I felt haunted by dark clouds. My shielded comfort zone was suffocating and consistently blocked me from opportunities. It might sound selfish, but being open with your kindness is not only about what you do for other people. It is about being a better you. I feel we were all given gifts to share through kindness. My heart has not grown a day older and my memory has not faded, but I am learning how to embrace my gift and share it in a way that protects me without holding me hostage.

How have I done this, you ask? For 2016, I feel like I have pushed outside of my comfort zone further than I have ever done in my life. By initiating conversations, extending invitations, and just showing up, I created opportunities to share my kindness. It can be a subtle thing, like giving a compliment, or a bigger thing, like volunteering your time. None of it is based on how others respond, but just a simple gesture to show you care.

Once you master this gesture of open kindness, you will definitely want to broaden your horizons. Here are some initiatives to check out:
- The Compliment Project: canvas your community in compliments to share kindness.
- Do Something: join a campaign to impact social change.
- TakePart: Learn about news and lifestyle to take action.
The shield you build for your heart should protect it to live longer, not block it from its purpose. The power behind kindness connects us to be a better person individually and make the world a more loving place collectively. How are you sharing kindness? Do you know of any other initiatives to add to the list? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: H&M blazer; New York & Company vest; The Limited blouse; The Limited pants; DSW shoes; Vintage scarf; Aldo earrings; DSW purse
November 20, 2016
Why Nostalgia Will Not Keep You Happy

In entertainment there is a strategic pattern to entice us to show up and support a project by tapping into our nostalgia. Take Disney, for example. First we had sequels for classics, like The Lion King, Aladdin, and Toy Story. Then we had spin-offs for Finding Nemo, Boy Meets World, and now, That’s So Raven. Some stories can be continued forever and still feel fresh, while others are really stretching it. Even though we know the show will not be the same, we still go see it. Hoping to get that same feeling of surprise or laughter, we leave disappointed. Did you know we do this in life too? As nice as it is to reminisce, nostalgia can keep you from being happy.

Why is nostalgia so easy to slip into? It gives us a false sense of security. With hindsight, we can pinpoint mistakes and victories, select pleasant memories, and re-create who we previously were. There is a tendency to feel like the good-old-days are better than anything today could bring. There are two ways to look at this. First, looking back can help see how much progress you have made and learn from any lessons you picked up. Second, looking back can stifle your motivation to try anything different and give into negativity.

I do not think looking back on your own life is completely bad, but you should be careful in how you do it. The time you take repeatedly dwelling on your past choices is not productive. That will only fill you with regret and frustration, which will only cast a shadow over how you view your future. The time you take comparing your past progress with a friend, relative, or stranger is also not helpful. As difficult as it might be, you cannot let your mind play tricks on you.

Instead of slipping further into nostalgia, you should focus on creating more memories you would want to look back to. Push yourself to move forward, in spite of what happened before. I believe life is the result of what we do rather than what we let happen to us. Nostalgia can help or hinder that result depending on how you use it. Happiness is a choice that takes effort and discipline to keep. Be careful with how you let nostalgia be part of that choice.

What are you most nostalgic about? How do you use that to keep you happy? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: New York & Company blouse; Forever21 skirt; Steve Madden shoes

November 3, 2016
How To Stop Blocking Yourself

As we continue this journey to strive for our best and better ourselves, there are some challenges that take time to solve. One is self-sabotage. I don’t mean setting up traps for yourself like Tom and Jerry. I am talking about those habits we don’t notice. Those reflexes that kick into gear before you can catch them.

One of those habits is a form of self-defense. We all have been hurt, disappointed, or betrayed at different points in our life. Those types of scars sometimes refuse to heal. Your capacity to trust shrinks and your guard thickens. It gets harder to distinguish between friend and foe, so you keep everyone at a distance. It is not paranoia, but more a shield of protection. The problem with these kinds of scars is that they block you from meeting great new people and receiving new opportunities. Let’s work on that.

Heal and Forgive

Subconsciously and directly, we suppress a lot of emotions. We might not consider it holding a grudge. We might believe we have mastered pushing past them. This is not healthy because it keeps you feeling disappointed all the time. Take the time to heal emotionally and spiritually. Fully forgive yourself. I don’t mean to track down that mean kid from elementary school to tell them you forgive them. I also don’t mean to continue blaming others for everything that has not worked out for you. Forgive yourself to clear your plate. Accept your past, nurture your present, and embrace your future.

Expand Your Comfort Zone

Removing the blocks around you requires some risk. It will not feel comfortable. You may never be fully certain if you are making the right decisions. That is the point. This kind of risk will provide lessons and challenges that will enhance your life more than you could ever imagine. Create an environment that pushes you to interact with new people and experiences.

Practice and Initiate

The only way to truly remove these blocks is to re-align your lifestyle. This is not a mission to reach a certain weight, tax bracket, or grade. The plan should be to maintain this mindset forever. Thus, we cannot take a passive approach. Initiate dialogue with yourself and others to practice healing and reaching beyond your comfort zone. Take note of what triggers hurtful memories and guarded reactions. Make a point to not push past your emotions, but sit with them. Learn from those emotions to enable you to move on.

What can you do today to stop blocking yourself? Let me know in the comments below. Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: New York & Company blouse and skirt; Michael Kors heels

June 15, 2016