Category: Social Issues

The Art of Mental Healing

Source: theintuitiveminds.com

Your mind is your most powerful asset…at least that is what I believe. Regardless of age or lifestyle, our minds are put through a lot of challenges with results that are sometimes out of our control. Earlier this year there were a number of tragic incidents that put the wide and complex topic of mental health on the mainstream agenda. The recurring debates and commentary got me thinking about the multiple dimensions of everyone’s mental health that effect all of us directly and indirectly. I see mental health as a wide spectrum – from instances of depression to difficulties in reading or math to uncontrollable personality shifts – that should not be dealt with as one general issue.

A solution to this biased discussion and potential healing that resonates with me is art. I’m not necessarily talking about art therapy, which has it’s own benefits, but also how we seek different forms of art to cope with whatever we are dealing with psychologically.

I have very intense emotions and tend to fill my mind with an overwhelming amount of ideas. Without major self-discipline, which is an active lesson that alters everyday, this state of mind causes mood swings that can lead to brilliance or self-destruction depending on the situation. I have always found music to be my essential remedy for everything. When I was younger my passion was dance, which later transformed into theater. I enjoyed escaping to new worlds as the music determined my movements. Throughout college as I developed my broadcasting skills, discovering new music and appreciating it at a deeper level was my new form of relaxation. Currently, I always have a smooth “songza” playlist quietly playing in the background in my apartment to focus, seek inspiration, or let my mind go blank.

I found these two examples of art for mental healing that I thought are worth shedding a spotlight on.

SoulCulture is a global online magazine for music, arts, and entertainment. Their site is a great place to discover new stuff and stay up to date with artists you love. A few months ago they started a campaign called “Ok Not To Be Ok” to raise and spread awareness and support for mental health. They interview a variety of artists who talk about what they have gone through and how they cope with it. I, of course, had to share the segment with Janelle Monàe.

Yashi Brown is an author, poet, public speaker, mental health advocate, and philanthropist. She does a number of amazing things that you can find on her website. Showcasing one of her many talents below, Yashi performs spoken word before patients and faculty at psychiatric and forensic facilities and private events. She is the founder of a nonprofit People of Poetry (POP) to showcase the positive, creative, and emotional influence poetic expression has among those with mental illness and youth.

What do you think of their work? What type of art do you seek to maintain your sanity?

July 5, 2013
Summer 2013 Glasses Inspiration

From music festivals to beach parties to distant vacations, summer is a time we all try to use for new experiences. Regardless if you follow fashion trends, we tend to do a lot of closet-rearranging and shopping during the summer. For those of us who wear glasses to see, no offense to those who decide to take on four-eyes as an accessory, this also includes glasses frames. Unlike searching for a cute maxi dress or a light pair of pants, shopping for glasses takes more of an investment. They have to endure our daily lives while still complimenting any style or color outfit we decide to wear. I have been rocking an orange and black pair of Dolce & Gabbana frames for the past 5 years and recently have been looking for inspiration for my next pair. Due to how long I have been wearing glasses – I basically was born with them on my face – a new set of frames always spurs the next evolution of my personal style. Here are some of my favorites.

via Warby Parker Collection

via Vogue

My favorites from the Dolce & Gabbana Summer 2013 Collection

Since we all appreciate a man who wears glasses well, I figured I should share these too.

May 28, 2013
The Absentee-Father-Story & Why We Need To Re-Write It

Looking slightly away from the camera with tears in his eyes, the middle-aged man said, “I had a lot of anger because he wasn’t there and I didn’t know why but I didn’t think he cared.” That was the main quote for an advertisement on the OWN channel to announce Oprah’s upcoming “lifeclass” episode titled “Oprah’s Lifeclass on Fatherless Sons.” This aired during the season premiere episode of “Iyanla Fix My Life,” which also focused on an allegedly absent father. I know both Oprah and Iyanla are trying to shed light on an issue that has plagued society for years, but I have a problem with how they portray it.

About a week or so ago I watched the last 30 minutes of Iyanla Vansant’s “Fix My Life” episode with DMX and his son Xavier. From what I could gather, Xavier wanted his father to apologize for taking him to the music studio as a child and apparently kissing and hugging women who were there and for speaking to him as if he was angry. DMX, who is not in a good mood and feels he is being humiliated on live television, snaps back asking his son to give him an example of what he told him as a boy that made him feel bad. Xavier couldn’t come up with an example. Every time DMX tries to continue talking, Iyanla interrupts telling DMX to listen to his son. DMX fires back stating that everyone continuously interrupts him whenever he tries to speak to his son. This back forth non-dialogue and rising tempers continue for most of the episode. Finally, DMX apologizes to his son and they hug. Xavier plays a song for him and DMX tearfully responds, “That’s my son. So proud.” Then Iyanla tells Xavier that he can ask for what he wants of his Dad now. Xavier explains he wants a relationship with his Dad, but his Dad must give up drugs. DMX states that he has never put any conditions over the love for his son and refuses to change for anyone. The episode ends with Iyanala congratulating Xavier for standing up to his father and disclaimer text stating that the father and son have yet to speak to each other since the filming of that episode.

I had difficulty watching this program as well as feeling sympathy for the son because I felt it was driving to the wrong point. The characters in this type of story are always written the same and I think this could be considered a factor that is continuing the problem.

Why is the father always written as the villain? We seem to like to tell a one-size-fits-all story to explain why “Dad” is not around, even though there are a variety of reasons – work, illness, abandonment, death – that cause the absence of a father. Most of these reasons were not premeditated, but just came about due to life’s circumstances. I don’t believe this should be used as an excuse to avoid responsibility, but I do think it warrants reevaluation when planning to gang-up on someone. Regarding DMX and his son’s situation, DMX was not only around at home when his son was younger but also paid for his son to attend a good quality school, live in a comfortable home, and live a content life. None of this is mentioned in the story. Instead, we are made to believe that this man did not treat his son appropriately and now must be humiliated in public.

My next question is regarding the son. Why are the offspring of these so-called absent fathers always portrayed as victims when they are adults? I am not too convinced by the notion that an absent parent causes overwhelming psychological trauma that remains throughout a persons life. I would understand if they were interviewing an 8 year-old boy about how he feels not having one of his parents, but for an adult, the reaction should be different. In this episode, Xavier was painted as a weak character in my opinion. I know many people, men and women, who grew up with a single parent and were still able to become independent adults…and never blamed their absent parent for anything.

Essentially, I feel this storyline needs to be re-evaluated and re-written. It supports a continuous cycle to produce an image of weak minority men. The absence of a parent requires the child to grow up faster, take more responsibility, and become independent sooner. At times, depending on the circumstances for the absence, the child might feel sad, angry, hopeless, but in the long run they learn how to live with it. Instead of telling stories about how all of these adults still feel unloved and angry, why can’t we see how they worked to never be like their absent parent? Or how they made every effort to be there for their own kids? Or how they decided to dedicate their lives to help other single parents and orphans? If we could build a supportive community that took responsibility for all of its children, the number of parents one has wouldn’t be such a major factor. Just a thought.

April 21, 2013
African Digital Art: Showcasing the African Creative

Digital art is being pushed to new heights with the advances in technology and the way in which we can distribute our work via the internet. I am hopeful that the internet will continue to provide an equal level playing field to enable everyone to showcase their story and be exposed to other cultures. With this in mind, I was very happy to find African Digital Art.

An online network that serves as a collective creative space, African Digital Art provides digital artists, enthusiasts, and professionals a place to showcase their work and connect with emerging artists.

They have such so much information, artwork, music, film, and everything in between. They organize the work and clips by project, artist, and country of origin. They also interview artists as well as give the back story for photography sessions, paintings, and films. You should definitely take your time to sift through all of it. Here are two posts that sparked my interest:

Spider Stories – a pan-African inspired fantasy adventure series that takes our beloved Anansi to another level and a story I would love to see on TV.

Solus – A CG animated short film that really plays with your imagination.

April 17, 2013
Oscars 2013: My Favorite Moments

Regardless of who is hosting and who is nominated, the Academy Awards always has something entertaining and glamorous to enjoy. I thought this years Oscars had some high points. Below is a list of my favorite moments.

The Captain Kirk introduction and back-and-forth banter about the future was neat, but went a little long. My favorite part of the opening number was the dance routine with Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum. It brought back the Hollywood glamour of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Did any of you know that Charlize Theron could dance?

The stage design was magnificent. The screens, the lighting, the movement…just beautiful.

I saw Paperman for the first time a few weeks ago and fell in love with it. I am very glad they won Best Animated Short Film. It showcases a breakthrough in animation that merges computer-generated and hand-drawn animation techniques. I also love the music…I am a big fan of scores that are composed for films.

One of the high points for me was the James Bond tribute. Dame Shirley Bassey is still and always will be the epitome of class and talent. She performed “Goldfinger,” the ultimate James Bond theme song that made her the ultimate Bond girl. Thanks to my mother, I have been listening to Shirley Bassey’s greatest hits since I was in middle school. I think I will dedicate a post to her in a few weeks.

I also enjoyed Barbara Streisand’s performance. She has such a rich and classic voice.

February 25, 2013
Cyber Courtship: Dead or Evolved?

Since this is “love week” in some places, I felt it would be appropriate to discuss a current trend topic – dating and technology. Being a member of the generation that seems to be going through an interactive crisis that will change relationships forever, I am interested to see how true you think this prophecy is.

According to a New York Times article, a “date” with a planned invitation, dinner, and romance has turned into a “hang out” with a few text messages. Through a number of quotes and stories, the article depicts the current shift in dating culture and points to technology as a possible factor. They describe how original courtship included calling someone and using courage, strategic planning, and a little ego to ask someone out. Now, text messages like “hey” and “sup” suffice. With online dating websites and the amount of personal information that are posted on social media, the first date is apparently irrelevant. “We’re all PhD’s in Internet stalking these days,” said the author of “The Hookup Handbook” to The New York Times. The article mentions a number of love experts and authors to emphasize the notion that women must redefine their expectations when it comes to dating. According to one theory, if a woman is serious about getting hitched, every man she encounters should be considered potential material, short text messages should be interpreted as love confessions, and partaking in casual intimacy should become a habit. On the other hand, a competing theory states that courtship is not dead but just takes more effort to find. Women should define what they want and not settle for less.

A Forbes article responded to this NYT article and provided evidence for those who feel technology has altered the dating game but not ruined it. The article focuses on the alleged impact of texting, online dating sites, and social media. According to Forbes, the main users of technology, who tend to be educated, wealthier people, have been using online dating and networking sites for years and the divorce rate among this group has been declining for the past 30 years. They conclude that technology changed the way we communicate and add a few complications, but it is premature to blame it for ruining dating. Essentially, “if you want to date someone who takes you on real dates, don’t respond to 10pm “sup” texts.”

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine, who happens to be male, which caused me to think more about this cyber dating phenomenon. I think there are a number of factors influencing our “hook up” generation, but deciding how to deal with it should be determined on an individual basis. I agree that technology has changed the way we interact. It is now normal for people to conduct a google search on you before asking for your number and probably had already requested you on facebook and twitter. I can’t remember the last time anyone had resorted to calling me instead of sending “hey, how are you” text messages every day. However, I don’t think this means we are doomed as a generation.

Since everything in life now, due to technology, is instantaneous, for some reason we think we can set emotion and love to that same speed. For women, there is the pressure (or balancing act) of striving to be successful in some sort of career while still holding marriage and a family as a top priority. Some deal with this dilemma by dating anyone who winks, while others are selective with whom they respond to. Due to how much the dating field has changed, it is difficult to seek, let alone listen, to advice from previous generations because we really don’t interact or flirt or share the same way our parents and grandparents did. This could possibly lead to frustration if all of your friends and family feel the need to lecture you on your single status, but you should not let this worry you. I think the best advice, quoted in both articles, is the best way to succeed – don’t settle. Let’s look at this further:

First – love yourself. Take time to really define and articulate who you are, what you want, and what you are willing to do for others.

Second – be accessible…to an extent. Meeting people and getting to know people takes a little compromising. As you choose what you want, also be open to try new things.

Third – take initiative. Regardless if you are the man or the woman in the potential relationship, you have to make the effort to keep the connection and help it to grow. Don’t depend on the information on your potential significant others profile page to learn about them. Make a point to interact in person and share experiences in person.

I don’t label myself as a love guru, but I feel these points are important to stay true to yourself and find love. What do you think? Do you think technology is driving your love life? Should the formal or casual aspect of courtship be dependent on an individual basis or a full generation? Please feel free to respond below.

February 13, 2013