Category: Lifestyle

I Have a J.D. Now What?

Here we are. After three long years. Finally done. But, now what? I mean, I should be good now, right? I followed all the rules. I did what my parents told me to do. I stayed in school. Even when I felt frustrated, I stuck to it. Even when I felt like I did not belong, I showed up. Leading up to this very moment, where I can finally agree with all the elders that the “world is my oyster” and “all doors are now open to me.” I was really excited about this grande finale, until it ended. There were no oysters or open doors. It felt as if I was turning the page to the next chapter of a book, a real book, and found the next page blank. This was frightening at first, but I learned to recognize and appreciate my new freedom in this blank page.

As you may know, a J.D. can be used for a variety of jobs and landing a job is not easy. As much as everyone likes to advise fresh graduates that networking is the key to success, I feel luck plays a big part in that as well. Your luck only works in your favor if you are prepared for it. That preparation is what I had to take some time to work on. Initially, I figured working hard for grades, a resume, and some form of a network was enough, but it barely scratched the surface. I realized that I had to work on me. I had to believe in me. Crazy, right? How did I miss that? I know I cannot be the only one guilty of forgetting to take care of myself. Well, here are three ways to get back your peace at a turning point in your life.

Jump back and kiss yourself. Yes, I got that from James Brown. You need to be proud of yourself. It is so important to take the time to acknowledge how far you have come and what you achieved. When we are goal-oriented, and possibly humble, we tend to ignore celebrating ourselves. I was guilty of that. Once I master something I put my mind to, I tend to immediately move on to the next challenge. That is ok if you are always in motion. Once there is a pause or a gap, that mindset can lead to heavy doubt. So don’t leave room for doubt. Use that pause to celebrate yourself and be proud of what you accomplished.

Focus on your lane. Comparison is very tempting, especially when it seems everyone else is doing something better than you. Remember, we are all masters of filters and nothing is as it seems. Do not get lost in comparing your chapter 5 with another’s chapter 34. When we fall into comparisons, we miss the opportunity to celebrate others. That is what I continue to remind myself. Spreading love brings good karma in your direction. When I see my colleagues announcing their job placements before Bar exam results come out or engagement parties or moving to a new place, I cheer for them. I am genuinely happy for them and really hope it all works well in their lane. I truly want to see all of us succeed and I know my time in my lane is perfect.

Be optimistic about your new freedom, regardless of what your next step is. Freedom can be scary and exciting. Understand that mixture is ok. This was the biggest thing that had me feeling stuck. This new freedom frightened me because I was afraid of failure. With no guidelines to follow, or program to continue on to, or automatic job to slide in, what would keep me from falling? What would keep me from making mistakes? I realized that is what was so wonderful about this freedom. Do it afraid. Do it excited. I can design my destiny. I can be so in tune with my purpose, that I can trust I am being guided through this freedom.

That is what makes this time so beautiful. It can be transformative if you believe in yourself. Do you have any other tips for feeling stuck after a big accomplishment. Let me know in the comments!

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Photography: Fotos By Ben

Wearing: Kaela Kay dress; DSW heels

October 16, 2017
Super Bowl 51 in Houston: Photo Recap

Houston celebrated Super Bowl 51 for two weeks and it was very exciting. It was so cool to see the city dressed up to showcase all the industries and cultures that are here. The main attraction was at Discovery Green, which was transformed into a Super Bowl theme park. I visited it three times, one to just walk around and take photos, two to see Robert Glasper and Solange perform for free, and three to visit the NFL Experience exhibit. To be honest, I am not a football fanatic, but I think Houston did a great job to create an experience that everyone could enjoy.

I also shared some clips via InstaStory and twitter for the park and performances. Check them out here and here.

Were you in town for Super Bowl 51? What did you enjoy the most? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

March 5, 2017
Does Your Blackness Empower Others

What is blackness? It can be uplifting and frustrating to recognize how complex the answer to that question is. It is a spectrum of colors, a history of movements, a source of swag, a hybrid experience, and a resilient soul. Unlike others who can choose when it is convenient to step out of their privileged bubble, we are always in a time where our voices need to be heard and our presence needs to be respected. Our reality is filled with the unrelenting battle between our royal essence and brutal environment. A balance that is constantly shifting.

Sometimes, I experience that shift when I feel I have to constantly second guess myself in interpreting how people interact with me and how I allow my identity to be swayed by self-doubt. It takes so much emotional energy to resist carrying my color as a burden. Feeling as if no one around you really understands how much unfair foolishness you have to tolerate on a daily basis. So, when I came across this discussion with Melissa Harris-Perry about the crooked room analogy to define black women’s identity, you know I was snapping my fingers for the entire clip. Her book “Sister Citizen” is on my reading list for this summer. The gist of the analogy: black women are sitting on a crooked chair in a crooked room. As we try to adjust our chair to be aligned with who we believe we are, we overcompensate the adjustment to either oppose the limited spectrum of stereotypes or suppress our natural glow.

This analogy is so true! It is also one of the first things I thought of after watching Beyoncé’s beautiful performance at the Grammy’s. (I am not sure if that was the intention, but let us flow with it.) So, how should we align our crooked chair? Is it as simple as paying attention to what influences our mental conditioning? or is it as complex as healing centuries of damage. That is a discussion I would love to continue.

How do you use your blackness? I feel there is no one right way to do this, but a few questionable ways to do so. Since everything we do becomes a trend, there will always be some who choose not to participate in order to refrain from jumping on the band wagon and others who choose to participate to make an impact on directing that band wagon. The truth is, there really is no band wagon. Similar to the crooked room, sometimes we are made to feel foolish for doing what is right and made to feel confused for not doing anything. This came to mind while viewing a number of things.

First, the New York Times did a feature on Harry Belafonte to reflect on his life near his 90th birthday. One of the many gems he dropped in that interview spoke about leadership. During the civil rights movement, a number of people were pushed forward to run for office and represent in politics. Ironically, those “leaders” stepped up to office and proceeded to forget about their community and leave their supporters behind. As you may or may not know, the majority of those “leaders” are still in office and “the community” still feels forgotten. This wisdom influenced my response to the recent headlines about black leaders refusing to meet with President Trump and HBCU representatives meeting at the White House. I feel there are two sides to this. One, the black community has grown comfortable with the illusion of freedom. Just because we can sit anywhere on a bus, tweet to our heart’s content, attend any school, and announce that “our president was black, and our lambo is still blue” does not mean we are really equal. It does not mean we are considered significant. Every other group in America skips the line ahead of the black community. Why is that? It is quite heartbreaking, actually. I feel it is similar to when slavery was abolished and some slaves did not want to leave the plantation due to the wicked conditioning they had suffered in believing “massa” protected them. It is similar to what Harriet Tubman noted that she could not rescue everyone because some did not realize they were slaves. So, instead of getting upset, just work with what you have. On the other hand, we should not be shocked when proposed meetings end up only being a photo opportunity. It seems hypocritical, doesn’t it? It is. That is why utilizing blackness can be exhausting and draining.

Second, the film “I Am Not Your Negro” is a powerful documentary. Even though reading James Baldwin’s work would give you a similar impression, hearing his words juxtaposed with images from then and now really emphasize how everything he said resonates with what we are experiencing today. I feel it pushed the envelope within the documentary category because it is not simply a biography. The way the director painted a story with James Baldwin’s words, historical photos and footage, as well as current images is really creative. Not only can it be used to introduce James Baldwin to different audiences, it also illustrates how we possibly have not made as much progress as we thought we did.

Does this mean that anytime we refer to blackness it should always refer to gloom and doom? No. We are still experiencing a version of the Harlem Renaissance. Take note of all the creative work that has been published and acknowledged: such as 13, Moonlight, Hidden Figures, Lemonade, A Seat At The Table, etc. The increase in community-based programs and individuals stepping up and showing up for their community. The spike in interest to no longer be oblivious of reality. We continue to make something out of nothing. This is one of the many sentiments I picked up from President Obama’s farewell speech. America may never be ready for the change we were willing to bring, but that does not mean we sit back and give up. As long as we help at least one person, that change is still valid. As long as we continue to step up and show up, that hope is still alive.

Now, when I refer to “America” throughout this post, do I mean every single American person including your pet cat and virtual pet fish? No.

How do you think we can continue to use our identity to empower? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: Zuvaa blazer; New York & Company blouse; The Limited pants; DSW heels; Aldo purse; Vinti Couture earrings

March 5, 2017
Via Colori Street Painting Festival in Houston: Photo Recap

This was the last event I attended in the fall before switching into gear to study for final exams. Thus, I am barely posting the photos now instead of in November. Better later than never, right? Anyway, I really enjoyed this festival. There were so many cultures and talents showcased in a space that was fun and interactive. Proceeds from the Via Colori Street Painting Festival went to the Center for Hearing and Speech to continue serving children with hearing loss. If you are in town during the next festival, you definitely do not want to miss it.

I loved all of the paintings, but my favorites were the Prince tribute and the piano. Which painting was your favorite? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

February 12, 2017
Why Hidden Figures Is The Ultimate Hero

“Every time we have a chance to get ahead, they move the finish line. Every time.” – Mary Jackson played by Janelle Monáe

First and foremost, the movie “Hidden Figures” spoke to me on so many levels. If you have yet to see it, you are possibly missing out on one of the most inspiring and uplifting films in a very long time. In my humble opinion, of course. Since there were so many lessons about strength, community, and success to pick up from the film, I figured it was only right to share them with you.

In the film, Dorothy Vaughn, Mary Jackson, and Katherine Johnson, the main characters, all showcase different aspects of strength. Like the quote I shared above, these women got ahead of the finish line on their own terms. Dorothy, Mary, and Katherine were “computers” at NASA, meaning they calculated formulas and data for the space program. Now, I do not want to spoil the movie for you and re-tell the entire story. So, take the gaps of context as inspiration to watch the movie if you have yet to. All three women fought against obstacles in their careers in a way that was so classy and confident. Dorothy took initiative to teach herself how to program a new machine and chose to bring her whole group of “computers” up to a new level instead of leaving them behind. Mary refused to take “no” as an answer and persuaded the legal and political system to work for her. Katherine had her work speak for itself and pushed for a seat at the table. Their strength, individually and collectively, was supported by a kind of determination we can learn from.

With all the issues swirling through our news feed and newspapers, the increasing interest in activism will always need guidance. There is not one way to solve these issues. That is why all aspects of strength are needed to make a difference. The goal or direction should be guided by the notion that either we all win or nobody wins. That progresses the discussion to clarify what winning means. Is it justice? A conviction? A ban? An apology? Could it be all of the above? That is on a grand scale, but what about individually or personally. What would winning mean to you? How will your fight lead to your win?

I feel the film was directed and written very well. Instead of primarily focusing on racism or negative experiences, the film emphasized what the three women achieved to enhance that nation’s goal to launch into space. In spite of the struggle (and we all know the struggle was real), they proved America’s success, which in this case was the race for space exploration, needed to include and benefit everyone. In that regard, it is a story that is accessible to all people. As important as it is to be informed with all aspects of history, stories about slavery, apartheid, Jim Crowe, etc tend to be appreciated only by certain groups and are bypassed by those who feel we need to “move on.” The film “Hidden Figures” bridges all of those groups with one goal: collective victory. Even though some parts of the film are fiction, it still gets that message across.

What would collective victory look like today? How can we get all groups to recognize the value of each other? These are not easy solutions and are possibly more difficult than what Dorothy, Mary, and Katherine experienced. The struggle is not the same for everyone. It is a delicate balance between advocating for equality and not imposing your opinions on how others should feel. The key is to keep the bigger picture in focus.

The story teaches us that perseverance and resilience need to be supported by community. From family, to neighbors, to church, to work, there was a solid connection between the community Dorothy, Mary, and Katherine came from. They cheered for and supported each other. They stood up for each other. We need more of that today. We need to care more for each other, not to get something out of it, but really for the sake of caring.

Well, all in all, I loved the movie. Have you seen “Hidden Figures” yet? What resonated with you? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: Asos blazer; The Limited blouse; New York & Company skirt; DSW heels; JORD Wood Watch; Aldo purse; Aldo earrings

January 29, 2017
How To Make Your Vote Count

In 2008, I was a member of the nation-wide group that was “fired up” to vote for the first time for the presidential election. I skipped class to see the candidates speak and I volunteered as precinct captain for my district. I read all of the plans to bring hope to America. It felt like I was truly a part of something bigger than myself. I was not just casting a ballot, but really contributing to the change we needed. It was really exciting.

Fast forward to the 2016 election. There are probably more memes, SNL skits, and ridiculous quotes for this particular election to last us a lifetime. You know I do not get into politics on my blog and I am not going to tell you who you should vote for or who I am planning to vote for. I want to speak to the disappointing difference between the 2008 election and the 2016 election. We all might joke about it, but the feeling of frustration and despondency is real. We cannot allow this to kill the hope and motivation we had 8 years ago.

We need to remember that this election is not just about voting for the next president. Your energy for change and passion for justice should also be focused on your local community. With the amount of foundations, community-based programs, and young people stepping up to run for office, there is a lot more you can do to improve your neighborhood that goes beyond casting a ballot. As much as social media has helped us to connect and support each other, we still need to show up in person and make a point to attend a town hall or volunteer for a community initiative.

You have to keep the bigger picture in perspective. Choosing not to vote or consistently complaining about everything that is wrong with (insert name, city, business, or school here) is not productive. That mindset gives into feeling helpless. Educate yourself on the issues you care about and what is being done in your community to fix it. If you find something, consider volunteering. If there is nothing, explore starting something.

It seems like most people get too caught up with complaining about every headline, trend, and policy. It is ok to admit you are one of those people. Imagine if you used that time to really understand the history, politics, and motive behind any of those issues. Equipped with that knowledge, smoke screens and marketing gimmicks would never phase you.

I feel your duty does not start or stop with wearing that “I voted” sticker. It is constantly in motion with every action and decision you make. Let us promise each other, regardless of elephants, donkeys, or third animals, that we will not let the hope die.

How are you planning to make your vote count? What resources do you use to learn about issues and politics in your community? Let me know in the comments below.

Also, remember to connect with me on Twitter and Instagram. I would love to hear from you.

Wearing: New York & Company blouse; Top Vintage LLC skirt

October 27, 2016