The other day I was searching google for forums on how to get from one train station to another in a certain city. As you might know, if you start typing a phrase in google, it will try to make an educated guess as to what you were thinking. This sometimes causes the searcher to go off tangent and not realize 30 minutes have passed without achieving the initial goal.
So, Google guessed I was searching for “How to get a girl,” which showed multiple links to advice and tips to get a girl. I took a peek at a few of these sites and was quite amused by what I found. I then tried “How to get a guy” and was even more entertained. However, the differences in approach and selected goals are intriguing.
On the one side, guys are encouraged to try to be a friend to the girl they like. They should listen to what she has to say and become familiar with her interests and personality. If they are nervous around her, they should practice questions to ask and conversations to start before meeting her. On the first day they should focus on minimal physical contact and other manners that showcase the charm of a gentleman. While trying to make a good impression, the guy should be honest with her and himself. The main goal is to persuade this girl to want to spend time with the guy. Once these two people become more than friends, the guy should occasionally surprise her with gifts or random acts of kindness.
On the other side, girls are encouraged to observe – or stalk – the guy they like to figure out what type of girls he is attracted to and other interests. Once the girl has compiled a full analysis on this guy, she must re-evaluate herself to see if she fits the part. If he prefers girls with short hair, she should consider cutting her hair. If he prefers girls that giggle, she should try to incorporate that in her behavior. If he likes football, she should become an expert on his favorite team. The main goal is to convince this guy that she is the perfect fit in his life. Once these two people become more than friends, the girl must make a consistent effort to keep him. If he tends to spend more time with his friends, she should send flowers to herself with an anonymous card and/or say she is going out and will be late and not say where she is going. Apparently, this will make the guy curious and make him not spend more time with his friends.
I am not sure how many people follow these guidelines or who is creating them, but I do not think it produces a fair and equal transaction among the two people involved. There are too many strategic personas to keep up with. What happened to just being yourself and chill with what fits? I have not taken any courses with Dr. Phil or Madame Cleo, but I believe love should not be a game or a competition. The ups and downs of learning about each other and growing a special bond together are enough of a challenge. Maybe that is why so many young couples don’t last. Maybe that is why some youths get murdered by their ex significant other. Playing with a person’s emotions can be extremely damaging and the current trend of being involved with a different person every two weeks does not help. The two roles illustrated in these “find love” blogs run parallel with the gender roles we have had throughout history. Women are instructed to look and behave a certain way – from wearing corsets to push-up bras – to attract a good suitor. Men are instructed to treat women in a certain way in public and uphold certain rules in private. Not to say this method is oppressive or anything, but the concept of making a good impression should have a balanced field. Maybe I am looking too deep into this, but I found it intriguing to observe. What do you think?